College is suppose to be the best time of a person's life. Unless you are like me. College tends to be a struggle; some days,of course, are better than others. Let's start first with the fact that college is super busy, people are everywhere and college is stressful. Generally, people find their group of friends and they go out to eat, study, or just in general hang out. I don't have that. I have friends yes, but I don't hang out. It's never been for me. I find it overwhelming. I find myself trying to conform to those around me, doing what they like and what they generally do; that way they stay my friend right. I find it extremely overwhelming and then I end up sinking into myself. But even with all of that I'm not the friend that people ask to hang around, I'm not one to be asked to go out to eat. I don't know the reason why. Perhaps its just that my anxiety is to much to be around. On campus one thing you tend to have to get use to is people bumping into you and, when classes let out, a swarm of people are gonna be walking around. I tend to find a place for me to sit when this happens. When hundreds of people that I never seen before, because lets be honest campus is so big you may not see the same people twice unless they are in your program, are all around me I tend to start getting extremely nervous.
Plus, college in general is stressful! You have a ton of work and only a small amount of time to get it done. Sometimes its like my brain shuts down from this. I have to work extra hard to remember what I am suppose to and when everything is due. I've always had a problem with memory but now adding ten things for three different classes tends to make that even worse. I have found a best friend in planners. Though sometimes the planners don't help because I forget to look in the planner. But that's something I am working on haha.
Alot of people find college a great time to party. I can honestly say I have not been to a single party since starting my college years. After night classes you can walk out of Hawkins and see the Fraternities partying and it has never once crossed my mind to go check it out. Instead I go to work, go to class, finish class, go home, do homework, go to sleep and repeat. But that is more of just because of who I am. I never even went to a party in high school unless a 12 year old pool party counts.
It's not easy being in college with anxiety and depression. It's a constant battle not to let the anxiety and depression take over. But it IS doable. One of the most important things to have when going through this is support. Whether it is family or friends, having that support to help you and remind you of things is amazing. Now here I am on my senior year of college when the first year seemed impossible to get through. This will be an experience that will help me throughout the rest of my life because it has taught me many things to help get through hard times.
Plus, college in general is stressful! You have a ton of work and only a small amount of time to get it done. Sometimes its like my brain shuts down from this. I have to work extra hard to remember what I am suppose to and when everything is due. I've always had a problem with memory but now adding ten things for three different classes tends to make that even worse. I have found a best friend in planners. Though sometimes the planners don't help because I forget to look in the planner. But that's something I am working on haha.
Alot of people find college a great time to party. I can honestly say I have not been to a single party since starting my college years. After night classes you can walk out of Hawkins and see the Fraternities partying and it has never once crossed my mind to go check it out. Instead I go to work, go to class, finish class, go home, do homework, go to sleep and repeat. But that is more of just because of who I am. I never even went to a party in high school unless a 12 year old pool party counts.
It's not easy being in college with anxiety and depression. It's a constant battle not to let the anxiety and depression take over. But it IS doable. One of the most important things to have when going through this is support. Whether it is family or friends, having that support to help you and remind you of things is amazing. Now here I am on my senior year of college when the first year seemed impossible to get through. This will be an experience that will help me throughout the rest of my life because it has taught me many things to help get through hard times.
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