Top 5 things to NOT say to a person with an anxiety disorder and 3 things you can do to help them. I'm telling y'all this on a day where I am already triggered.
5 things not to say.
1. You'll be okay
While people believe this is a good thing to say and that it will help the person in reality it doesn't and in a lot of cases, it makes it worse. One of the worst things with anxiety is the fact that you know you will be okay but you can't shut the fear down. You CAN'T. So telling the person they will be okay only makes them panic worse because they know they have no reason to freak out because they will be okay but yet they can't control it.
2. Snap out of it.
We CANT CONTROL IT. Do not tell us to snap out of it. If we could just snap out of it then we would choose to not have it!!
3. You've not done anything to be tiered.
Dear gracious I hear this a lot. Having an anxiety disorder, especially on the days that you are triggered, you are mentally and physically exhausted. Everyone else may see that you've not done a lot but in reality you have fought so many battles that they can't see. Days like today I am constantly shaking which exhausts the body and when I'm not shaking it's taking every little piece of me to control it. I'm constantly on the verge of a panic attack which is causing, obviously, heart palpations, heavy breathing and etc. It's exhausting on your mind and your body.
4. Just stop worrying.
It's an ANXIETY disorder. We worrying without choice!!
5. You were fine yesterday.
No, No I was not fine yesterday. I was just able to control it. Some days, what I call the "good days," I am able to control what everyone else can see. Anxiety is a constant, never ending battle. On the good days I can brush the anxiety off and then other days every thing is a trigger.
Top 3 things you CAN do.
1. BE there
Let the person know that you are there.
2. Don't Push
Don't push the person to do things but encourage it and offer help.
3. Figure out what helps and provide the means
Now I don't mean go crazy about this but the simple things. For example, When my anxiety is messing up I need to be wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket really tight and read. Let me do this.
5 things not to say.
1. You'll be okay
While people believe this is a good thing to say and that it will help the person in reality it doesn't and in a lot of cases, it makes it worse. One of the worst things with anxiety is the fact that you know you will be okay but you can't shut the fear down. You CAN'T. So telling the person they will be okay only makes them panic worse because they know they have no reason to freak out because they will be okay but yet they can't control it.
2. Snap out of it.
We CANT CONTROL IT. Do not tell us to snap out of it. If we could just snap out of it then we would choose to not have it!!
3. You've not done anything to be tiered.
Dear gracious I hear this a lot. Having an anxiety disorder, especially on the days that you are triggered, you are mentally and physically exhausted. Everyone else may see that you've not done a lot but in reality you have fought so many battles that they can't see. Days like today I am constantly shaking which exhausts the body and when I'm not shaking it's taking every little piece of me to control it. I'm constantly on the verge of a panic attack which is causing, obviously, heart palpations, heavy breathing and etc. It's exhausting on your mind and your body.
4. Just stop worrying.
It's an ANXIETY disorder. We worrying without choice!!
5. You were fine yesterday.
No, No I was not fine yesterday. I was just able to control it. Some days, what I call the "good days," I am able to control what everyone else can see. Anxiety is a constant, never ending battle. On the good days I can brush the anxiety off and then other days every thing is a trigger.
Top 3 things you CAN do.
1. BE there
Let the person know that you are there.
2. Don't Push
Don't push the person to do things but encourage it and offer help.
3. Figure out what helps and provide the means
Now I don't mean go crazy about this but the simple things. For example, When my anxiety is messing up I need to be wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket really tight and read. Let me do this.
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