So I went to the Dr. today and do you know what her response to me was? That I am literally stressing myself sick. Everyone stresses, that's nothing new, but for someone with anxiety like me the simplest off things become the biggest stressors. There are things that I stress about that most people my age won't even think twice about and it's not something I can't just get over. I hear people all the time say: "Stressing won't change the outcome so stop stressing so much" well in all honesty if it were that easy don't you think I already would have? For someone with an anxiety disorder getting over something could be nearly impossible, nearly. A person with anxiety can sometimes feel like a person is leaving forever when in reality all the other person is doing is going to the grocery store. We over think every little thing and there is no possible way of shutting your brain off.
So what kind of things go through my mind when I am stressing? Let's see the most frequent is simply the future. When most people my age are out having fun at bars and parties I am to busy stressing over trying to figure out what's gonna happen if I have to move in the future, which in reality is a very unrealistic stressor because I have over three years in Montgomery and I still have two years left of school. Of course I have rational stressors like school and relationships but even then those rational stressors can very quickly turn irrational. I can take getting a text into something out of the way and then worry about it a month from now! One thing that I know drives my family nuts is the fact that it is absolutely impossible for me to leave or go to sleep until they reply with "I love you too" because all I can think is what if something happens between now and morning.
So what do you do for someone like this? 1. The very first and most important of them all is never tell the person to get over it. Telling them to get over it will only make the person stress and worry over the fact that they feel unimportant by you and therefore adding more and worse stress to the load. 2. Be supportive, listen to what he/she has to say. Whether it makes sense to you or not and whether or not you understand why they are stressing over the little things that don't matter at the moment. 3. Be there, hold them, wrap them up in a blanket if that's where they feel the safest. If he/she feels safe then they are then able to rationalize their thoughts. Make them comfortable. 4. Try to stay consistent. I know one of the worse things I can have in my life is someone who unreliable, who changes what they say constantly. It makes me feel insecure, unsafe, and unimportant. 5. Encourage them. Encourage them to find an outlet whether it's reading a book, running, writing, dancing, etc. For me writing this blog is an outlet for my stress and so is reading. So encourage the person. 6. Try and Understand! It is hard for people to understand what we stress about, especially when the person is at a young age. But try and understand, the fact that you are trying will make a word of difference in this persons life.
There are so many other things than just those six, each of them is tailored to the person themselves, these are relatively consistent with most people. One little hint for those of you who knows someone who gets upset and always replies with "nothing" is don't force them and get upset that they won't immediately tell you, that can make them feel insecure.When the person is ready they will tell you. But also, instead of saying okay and dropping the situation say something encouraging and let that person know that you are aware to their feelings and that they aren't okay and that you are there for them.
"It's not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it" -Hans Selye
So what kind of things go through my mind when I am stressing? Let's see the most frequent is simply the future. When most people my age are out having fun at bars and parties I am to busy stressing over trying to figure out what's gonna happen if I have to move in the future, which in reality is a very unrealistic stressor because I have over three years in Montgomery and I still have two years left of school. Of course I have rational stressors like school and relationships but even then those rational stressors can very quickly turn irrational. I can take getting a text into something out of the way and then worry about it a month from now! One thing that I know drives my family nuts is the fact that it is absolutely impossible for me to leave or go to sleep until they reply with "I love you too" because all I can think is what if something happens between now and morning.
So what do you do for someone like this? 1. The very first and most important of them all is never tell the person to get over it. Telling them to get over it will only make the person stress and worry over the fact that they feel unimportant by you and therefore adding more and worse stress to the load. 2. Be supportive, listen to what he/she has to say. Whether it makes sense to you or not and whether or not you understand why they are stressing over the little things that don't matter at the moment. 3. Be there, hold them, wrap them up in a blanket if that's where they feel the safest. If he/she feels safe then they are then able to rationalize their thoughts. Make them comfortable. 4. Try to stay consistent. I know one of the worse things I can have in my life is someone who unreliable, who changes what they say constantly. It makes me feel insecure, unsafe, and unimportant. 5. Encourage them. Encourage them to find an outlet whether it's reading a book, running, writing, dancing, etc. For me writing this blog is an outlet for my stress and so is reading. So encourage the person. 6. Try and Understand! It is hard for people to understand what we stress about, especially when the person is at a young age. But try and understand, the fact that you are trying will make a word of difference in this persons life.
There are so many other things than just those six, each of them is tailored to the person themselves, these are relatively consistent with most people. One little hint for those of you who knows someone who gets upset and always replies with "nothing" is don't force them and get upset that they won't immediately tell you, that can make them feel insecure.When the person is ready they will tell you. But also, instead of saying okay and dropping the situation say something encouraging and let that person know that you are aware to their feelings and that they aren't okay and that you are there for them.
"It's not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it" -Hans Selye
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