My Cinderella Story: Sharing the Glass Slipper

College is suppose to be the best time of a person's life. Unless you are like me. College tends to be a struggle; some days,of course, are better than others. Let's start first with the fact that college is super busy, people are everywhere and college is stressful. Generally, people find their group of friends and they go out to eat, study, or just in general hang out. I don't have that. I have friends yes, but I don't hang out. It's never been for me. I find it overwhelming. I find myself trying to conform to those around me, doing what they like and what they generally do; that way they stay my friend right. I find it extremely overwhelming and then I end up sinking into myself. But even with all of that I'm not the friend that people ask to hang around, I'm not one to be asked to go out to eat. I don't know the reason why. Perhaps its just that my anxiety is to much to be around. On campus one thing you tend to have to get use to is people bumping i...

Being a woman with a past like mine, finding the "right guy" is tough. Every girl wants that fairy-tale love and in reality with people like us, that just doesn't happen. Not quite the way we expect anyways. But I finally found it. It's not a fairy-tale, for either of us. To be the right guy for for people like me, you must be strong enough to love me no matter what. I have found that guy. The guy that will sit and hold me when I have a random panic attack because I heard a loud noise. The guy that will randomly call me to help through a bad dream or just a bad day. The guy that works night but will still come over early the following morning if I had a bad dream/night just so he can sit with me and help me feel better. The guy that will sit while I fuss about unimportant things because I'm having a rough time dealing with everything. The guy that knows that I don't trust easily but he still took a chance on me and works everyday to help me trust and love him....

Some days are just genuinely bad with no rhyme or reason; others are bad because I have become overwhelmed and my PTSD decides to kick and make it a little worse. Both are as equally bad and both can be a pain to try and deal with and calm myself down. This past week was good, I had a conference that aligned with my College major, it was enjoyable. However, toward the end of the conference week, When I was starting to get exhausted from the early to late days and the push I was giving myself mentally to not let the exhaustion get to me, I noticed I was starting to get more nervous. We did this one "simulation" to help us see what it was like in some peoples shoes with higher mental disorders, keep in mind this conference was to train us to interpret in the mental health field, and I figured it would be no big deal I can join in and listen to the tape...well....that was the wrong choice. I put the headphones on, started playing the tape, listened for a few minutes and then fel...

With all of the battles I face because of what has happened to me it is obvious that I would cling to different things to help get me through the day, Security blanket we could call them. These different things are what I have found comfort in throughout the years and continue to find comfort in them today. There are three main ones that I will discuss in this blog post.       Cinderella is my first security blanket; makes sense since this is called "My Cinderella Story." I find connection through the fairy-tale because she went through her own little hell and came out resilient, and not to mention as a princess. Cinderella's step-family, the 'villains' of the story did everything they could to tear her down. They used her and abused her, but with her fairy godmother she was able to become resilient and get through everything. I had stated before that I wouldn't take back what happened no matter how bad my days get because it lead me to become who I am to...

A lot of people ask me how I can still believe in God when all of that happened to me when I was younger. So how do I? I’ll explain.  First, People all the time come back with “If God really existed then why would things like that happen in the first place?” Well the answer is this: The devil. We must first remember that Christ also suffered when He was on this earth. HE was beaten, persecuted, and crucified by evil people in this world. By one of his closest people, his own disciple, he was betrayed. That is the first thing that people must remember. The devil has his hold on evil people.  In John 16:33 Jesus tells us that we are going to have suffering, no matter what form it comes in: “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” God gave us the opportunity to live in the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve took it unto their own decision, by influence of...

For people who have been through what I have it is easy to understand that we have a problem with trust. What makes things worse is living in a world where people don't give you reason to trust them. It is so easy for people to lie now a days, we live in a world where the internet makes it even easier. People do things and make choices based off what will please them. This is why I have a hard a time trusting. I'm going to give y'all some examples on to why people make this already hard situation even worse. One guy I use to date was the worlds worst liar. He would lie over things that really had no point. After catching him in many lies it would be expected that I couldn't trust him and as assumed it would make me even more nervous toward trusting guys. This guy had done everything right, treated me like a princess and would've been the ideal guy...if it wasn't for the lies. I dated this guy, we were together for over two years. This was the "perfect guy...

There are three small statements that I have learned to rely and live on. I go back to these three statements when I need to encourage myself and remind myself that: I AM RESILIENT. These statements are I Have, I Am, and I Can. These three 'mini statements' help me get through any rough day that I have and here are what they mean to me (This post will be mostly in list form). I Have is reminder of everything I am blessed to have in my life. I HAVE: People around me that I trust and who love me  People who set limits for me.  People who show me how to act by the way the act.  People who help me do things on my own.  People who support me and my goals.  By having these people, family and friends, who do all these things and more for me I am able to get on a healthy path. I am therefore able to have people who can help me when times get hard on me.  I Am is quite obvious, it's a reminder of who I am as a person.  I AM:  A p...