My Cinderella Story: Sharing the Glass Slipper

Merry Christmas everyone!! I want to take the time to tell all of you Merry Christmas and I truly hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day! Thank you all for supporting me and this blog. If it wasn't for y'all this blog wouldn't happen. Come the New Year I plan on posting more on here and on my video blog channel. I have posted another (very short) video (with a few bloopers) just saying merry christmas on my video channel! I will talk with you all very soon!! Merry Christmas everyone! Video link: https://youtu.be/jILO_6hps6Q

I'm sorry it's been a while since I had posted anything. I've been dealing with finals in college and some personal things. Which leads me to write this. I get judged all the time. I do my very best to always look my best and be happy no matter how I feel, and so people don't even see what I have been through, they just see the parts in their face. This goes for people that are in my life now that do know my story. They don't know what I've been through our what my parents have been through and yet they will sit there and condemn me. But I know that people are going to judge anyways, so I will remind myself that I have fought like heck to get to where I am and I will continue to be resilient. Don't judge my story off the chapter you walked in on.  Just because you know me doesn't mean you KNOW me. I've been through a lot more than most people think. I have the scars, most mentally, but I have the scars. Just cause people can't see them doesn

As a person living with anxiety and depression you get use to having things occur on a daily bases. Most of the time you go through the day and have become so accustom to feeling a certain way that you don't even NOTICE it; it becomes the norm. When you discuss how it's like living with anxiety and/or depression you discuss the bad days, not the everyday life that it affected by it because you don't realize that you are affected by it by most days. You start to notice this when you have the rare, amazing day where you feel good. You feel like you had ten cups of coffee (or energy drink for those that don't do coffee) because you are up and aware, you are not feeling down and tiered or nervous about everything. You are aware of everything going on in a different way; in a way that you aren't in your everyday life. What causes these day to occur? What do you do when they do? This is what I'm going to discuss in this post. What causes these days to randomly occur

College is suppose to be the best time of a person's life. Unless you are like me. College tends to be a struggle; some days,of course, are better than others. Let's start first with the fact that college is super busy, people are everywhere and college is stressful. Generally, people find their group of friends and they go out to eat, study, or just in general hang out. I don't have that. I have friends yes, but I don't hang out. It's never been for me. I find it overwhelming. I find myself trying to conform to those around me, doing what they like and what they generally do; that way they stay my friend right. I find it extremely overwhelming and then I end up sinking into myself. But even with all of that I'm not the friend that people ask to hang around, I'm not one to be asked to go out to eat. I don't know the reason why. Perhaps its just that my anxiety is to much to be around. On campus one thing you tend to have to get use to is people bumping i

Being a woman with a past like mine, finding the "right guy" is tough. Every girl wants that fairy-tale love and in reality with people like us, that just doesn't happen. Not quite the way we expect anyways. But I finally found it. It's not a fairy-tale, for either of us. To be the right guy for for people like me, you must be strong enough to love me no matter what. I have found that guy. The guy that will sit and hold me when I have a random panic attack because I heard a loud noise. The guy that will randomly call me to help through a bad dream or just a bad day. The guy that works night but will still come over early the following morning if I had a bad dream/night just so he can sit with me and help me feel better. The guy that will sit while I fuss about unimportant things because I'm having a rough time dealing with everything. The guy that knows that I don't trust easily but he still took a chance on me and works everyday to help me trust and love him.

Some days are just genuinely bad with no rhyme or reason; others are bad because I have become overwhelmed and my PTSD decides to kick and make it a little worse. Both are as equally bad and both can be a pain to try and deal with and calm myself down. This past week was good, I had a conference that aligned with my College major, it was enjoyable. However, toward the end of the conference week, When I was starting to get exhausted from the early to late days and the push I was giving myself mentally to not let the exhaustion get to me, I noticed I was starting to get more nervous. We did this one "simulation" to help us see what it was like in some peoples shoes with higher mental disorders, keep in mind this conference was to train us to interpret in the mental health field, and I figured it would be no big deal I can join in and listen to the tape...well....that was the wrong choice. I put the headphones on, started playing the tape, listened for a few minutes and then fel

With all of the battles I face because of what has happened to me it is obvious that I would cling to different things to help get me through the day, Security blanket we could call them. These different things are what I have found comfort in throughout the years and continue to find comfort in them today. There are three main ones that I will discuss in this blog post.       Cinderella is my first security blanket; makes sense since this is called "My Cinderella Story." I find connection through the fairy-tale because she went through her own little hell and came out resilient, and not to mention as a princess. Cinderella's step-family, the 'villains' of the story did everything they could to tear her down. They used her and abused her, but with her fairy godmother she was able to become resilient and get through everything. I had stated before that I wouldn't take back what happened no matter how bad my days get because it lead me to become who I am to

A lot of people ask me how I can still believe in God when all of that happened to me when I was younger. So how do I? I’ll explain.  First, People all the time come back with “If God really existed then why would things like that happen in the first place?” Well the answer is this: The devil. We must first remember that Christ also suffered when He was on this earth. HE was beaten, persecuted, and crucified by evil people in this world. By one of his closest people, his own disciple, he was betrayed. That is the first thing that people must remember. The devil has his hold on evil people.  In John 16:33 Jesus tells us that we are going to have suffering, no matter what form it comes in: “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” God gave us the opportunity to live in the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve took it unto their own decision, by influence of the devi

For people who have been through what I have it is easy to understand that we have a problem with trust. What makes things worse is living in a world where people don't give you reason to trust them. It is so easy for people to lie now a days, we live in a world where the internet makes it even easier. People do things and make choices based off what will please them. This is why I have a hard a time trusting. I'm going to give y'all some examples on to why people make this already hard situation even worse. One guy I use to date was the worlds worst liar. He would lie over things that really had no point. After catching him in many lies it would be expected that I couldn't trust him and as assumed it would make me even more nervous toward trusting guys. This guy had done everything right, treated me like a princess and would've been the ideal guy...if it wasn't for the lies. I dated this guy, we were together for over two years. This was the "perfect guy

There are three small statements that I have learned to rely and live on. I go back to these three statements when I need to encourage myself and remind myself that: I AM RESILIENT. These statements are I Have, I Am, and I Can. These three 'mini statements' help me get through any rough day that I have and here are what they mean to me (This post will be mostly in list form). I Have is reminder of everything I am blessed to have in my life. I HAVE: People around me that I trust and who love me  People who set limits for me.  People who show me how to act by the way the act.  People who help me do things on my own.  People who support me and my goals.  By having these people, family and friends, who do all these things and more for me I am able to get on a healthy path. I am therefore able to have people who can help me when times get hard on me.  I Am is quite obvious, it's a reminder of who I am as a person.  I AM:  A person people can like A pe

One thing that people don't understand is the fact that I forgave my step father. Yes, you read that correctly. I forgave him. But just because I forgave him it doesn't mean I forgot; I suffer from PTSD, I have nightmares, I have bad days but I forgave him. You ask why? I had to do it for me. I needed to forgive him because by forgiving him I released my anger, my hatred, and my bitterness. This does not mean I have accepted his presence into my life or ANYWHERE near me; I definitely have not, but I did forgive him. To do this I knew it would take Prayer and God like love and mercy. So where do I go? My Bible;Ephesians 4:31-32 is my go to forgiveness verses. Though there are plenty of other spots in the Bible that speak on this these specific verses have always been my first to read when I need reminding.  Ephesians 4:31-32 (KJV)      Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and glamour  and evil speaking, be put     away  from you, with all malice:      And be ye kind on

So I went to the Dr. today and do you know what her response to me was? That I am literally stressing myself sick. Everyone stresses, that's nothing new, but for someone with anxiety like me the simplest off things become the biggest stressors. There are things that I stress about that most people my age won't even think twice about and it's not something I can't just get over. I hear people all the time say: "Stressing won't change the outcome so stop stressing so much" well in all honesty if it were that easy don't you think I already would have? For someone with an anxiety disorder getting over something could be nearly impossible, nearly. A person with anxiety can sometimes feel like a person is leaving forever when in reality all the other person is doing is going to the grocery store. We over think every little thing and there is no possible way of shutting your brain off. So what kind of things go through my mind when I am stressing? Let's

My story is one that people around my community do not know, in fact the majority of even my friends are unaware. This is my way of getting this out, my way of letting people know and understand, and to Share the Glass Slipper ! There were times in high school that probably would have been a lot smoother had the teachers, staff, and students knew why I was the way I was. They didn't understand why I would prefer to have my nose in a book than to communicate with my classmates. This is my story, the one that has been told to very few people, aside from the strangers in my Washington DC presentation. From the time I was born until I was almost four I lived with my biological mother. During this time my 'first step-father' and mother moved me and my sisters from Alabama to Mississippi, away from my Father. My story begins, however, when my mother and 'first step-father' divorced and she moved in with another man. So now you ask what happened? During a visitation wit

This blog deals with the journey to become resilient. This blog will go along with my personal story and my journey, both past and present. This blog is called "Sharing the Glass Slipper" because I am using it to help others in similar to same situations as I had; To help people who have anxiety, depression, PTSD, and any other related illness to due to traumatic events in their life no matter what that event is. I am doing this so that maybe my story can touch someone else and help them become resilient also.  This is to let people know that just because you are resilient doesn't mean you won't have bad days. Bad days will still find you but it is how you deal with those days and where you go from there that shows how resilient you are. "The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today" - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.